Episode summary
What is love — and what is it not? In this episode of the Joy Superpowers series, Andrew speaks with Dr. Colleen Quinn about love as an action, an energy, a healing force, and a way of living more fully aligned with the soul. Colleen explores why love must include ourselves, how childhood wounds and self-sabotaging patterns can block our capacity to give and receive love, and why control, attachment, people-pleasing, and misaligned words and actions are not true love. It is a rich and expansive conversation about inner child healing, boundaries, breathwork, spiritual growth, and the possibility of living a life filled with more love, joy and presence.
About Colleen
Dr. Colleen Quinn is a psychologist, breathworker, mystic and author of the spiritual memoir Essence Merging. She has taught psychology at The Ohio State University and other institutions, and has published research in top-tier journals. In her private practice, she has worked with approaches including Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems, using breathwork to help people go inward, feel what was once too painful to feel, and bring wounded parts of the self into greater love, awareness and integration.
In this episode
Colleen defines love as a consistent greater-good action that uplifts the whole — and emphasizes that the whole must include ourselves.
She explains why love is not only a feeling or a word, but an action shaped by energy, intention, thoughts and emotions.
Andrew and Colleen explore what happens when words and actions do not align, and how this can create confusion, mistrust and emotional pain.
Colleen discusses why people-pleasing is not the same as love, especially when it involves abandoning our own needs, worthiness and inner truth.
The conversation explores childhood wounds, self-sabotage and the protective patterns the ego creates when parts of ourselves were rejected early in life.
Colleen explains why inner child healing matters: when we reject, judge or control parts of ourselves, this can be reflected outward in our relationships.
She offers a simple boundary practice: allowing others the freedom to choose their path while calmly standing in the truth of what we are choosing for ourselves.
Andrew and Colleen discuss attachment and detachment, including the danger of expecting another person to fill what can only be healed from within.
Colleen reflects on her own spiritual journey, including breathwork, mystical experience, love, marriage, and the deepening of trust and safety in her primary relationship.
The episode explores practices that can help people raise their vibration toward love, joy and presence, especially conscious breath and breathwork.
Colleen closes by describing joy as an ongoing conversation with the beloved — a way of experiencing life as sacred, precious and filled with love.
Key takeaways
Love is not passive; it is expressed through aligned action, energy and intention.
True love must include self-love, not self-abandonment.
Control is not love, and attachment is not the same as love.
Inner child healing can help us release old protective patterns and relate with more openness.
Healthy boundaries allow both people freedom and truth.
Conscious breath can bring us back into presence, where joy and love are most available.
Love expands when we bring it back into our relationships, communities and daily life.
Memorable lines
“Love is the consistent greater good action that uplifts the whole.”
“That includes you.”
“Control is not love.”
“Love and healing is an inside job.”
“Conscious breath is the gateway to presence where all joy is.”
“Love begets love.”
