In this episode, we spoke with Kai Fuentes and explored the theme of self-love; the spiritual, physical, and the business and aspiration side of it all.
Kai Fuentes is the President of Ebony Marketing Systems, a multicultural market research team, and a licensed Biofeedback counselor, helping her clients achieve personal, physical and spiritual growth. You can follow her on LinkedIn!
Here is a quick sum-up of this week’s episode and the main points we discussed.
Time and You
After a difficult period of postpartum depression, Kai found that self-love was the key to leaving the stagnant feeling behind. It began with regular visits to the spa, but with time evolved into more productive, efficient, and affordable ways of treating oneself well. To Kai, “self-love is spending time with yourself every day,” and it does not require more than three things:
1) meditation OR simply cutting oneself out from all unnecessary noise and spending time with yourself in silence,
2) taking care of yourself (eating well, hydrating, exercising),
3) showing yourself grace, be accepting of yourself.
“The most radical act of self-love you can do is spending time with yourself.”Kai Fuentes
Kai recommends though exercises and tricks to keep the spirit high during difficult periods; for every negative thought Kai feels coming to the surface, she replaces it with three positive thoughts, to stop spiraling down into negativity. You don’t have to be 100% happy all the time, but be gentle with yourself; you deserve it. This gentleness wades off narcissism, “negative self-love,” which feeds on negativity and takes the place of a healthy relationship one has to oneself.
Negativity is normal; we are hardwired to “negativity bias”; by default, most of our thoughts about ourselves appear to be steeped in negativity. There is nothing uniquely wrong with it, and sharing your struggles with someone else, an “accountability partner,” goes a long way to support your positive attitude. A reliable friend can help you refocus on your strengths, and shine a light on your weaknesses too; learning to appreciate yourself is easier through the eyes of others. Your positive attitude can then spread to others; give compliments, even to strangers; a little kindness can go a long way. In this regard, Kai “takes the model that they have on the airplane; put the life mask on yourself first, before you put it on somebody else.”
“For us to give true, authentic love to others, you have to love yourself first”Kai Fuentes
For more tips and approaches to accepting yourself and letting the love in, give the podcast a listen! Follow us on our Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook and subscribe to our podcasts from Spotify, Google, Apple Podcasts, and Captivate to keep up with latest episodes and updates!